Hannah Verri

Tell us a bit about yourself?

Hi, my names Hannah and I am a first-time mum to a beautiful 9month old boy,Fletcher. I am 23 years old and work in the public service. I have lived inQueanbeyan my whole life, love to binge watch TV series but also love to ride my bike and spend time with family and friends. I used to be a dancer and then about 3 years ago I fell in love with AFL, which is actually where I met my partner. I have recently just started playing again – which I am so so excited about and hope that I can finally win a premiership. I am a working mum, currently in the office 3 days a week (Fletcher is absolutely thriving at daycare) and really enjoying life at the moment.

What were you doing before babies/children?

Most days I was waking up at 5am to go to HIIT republic with a bunch of my friends, spending as much time as i could with my partner (we were both still living with our parents so we spent a lot of time living out of backpacks) but really I was just starting to figure out who I was and what I thought my future would look like (definitely did not predict falling pregnant a couple of months before I turned 22, haha). I had just recently got a job in the Public Service as a full time Executive Assistant. I was lucky to have such an amazing workplace and even though I had only been there for just over 3months when I told my manager i was pregnant, she was extremely happy for me.

How did you come to be a mum?

I have always dreamed about being a mum and how amazing it would be. I wanted to be a reasonably young mum (first kid at around 25) although I envisioned being married and owning a house first. But sometimes it’s just not meant to be in that “perfect” order. I had known my partner for a good 3 years but we were only together for about 2ish months before we found out I was pregnant. He had just recently moved in with me and my family so we decided a nice weekend away together was needed. Well, 2 weeks later we found out we were going to be parents. As much as it was a surprise we kind of expected it because I wasn’t taking birth control and we weren’t exactly being careful... Ooops haha! We didn’t have to think twice about what we were going to do because we knew that we wanted to keep the baby. We always (even before we started dating) talked about how much we wanted kids and we had loving and supportive families. We also didn’t know if this might be our one and only chance to have a baby (because you can never predict the future), so we knew it was the right choice. Looking back now, we wouldn’t change what happened and we are so grateful for our little boy. He’s changed our lives and is literally my little bestie. 

What has your feeding journey been like?

Short story: It was tough but it ended up being so rewarding. Long Story: I didn’t realise how unnatural it would feel and how hard it was going to be for something that’s supposed to be natural. I just assumed he would latch straight away and everyone would be happy but dam I was wrong and no one really prepared me for it...It took me a solid 10 weeks to actually enjoy it because I was in so much pain. I tried to deal with the pain because I thought I was being weak but I wish I got help sooner. We actually found out Fletcher had a tongue tie around 6 weeks but they said it wasn’t major. He had a very tight neck on one side which they thought might be the major cause of his feeding problems, so we tried a few exercises and different feeding positions.

After a couple of weeks, nothing was helping so we ended up getting the tongue tie snipped. After that, the pain stopped, he started to become more efficient at feeding and I ended up loving it. As much as I was relieved, I felt so horrible because I would feel so much anger and sadness every time he fed due to the pain. I remember the early morning feeds were the worst. Sleep deprived, sore and just so many tears. I wanted to give up so many times but I am glad we stuck it out. Around the 5month mark, we started to give Fletcher a bottle of formula for his last feed of the day instead, just to get him used to the taste, because as much as I enjoyed breastfeeding, it did take a bit of a toll on my mental health and it was good to know that we had another option of feeding him. We made it to about 7months of breastfeeding and the only reason we stopped was because I was going back to work and I really didn’t enjoy pumping… Looking back, I do miss breastfeeding and wish I cherished it a little more because it was something only Fletcher and I could share (plus the breastfeeding boobs were AMAZING hahaha)

What has sleep been like in your house?

At the beginning, not great. I think it was a combination of Fletcher not being a great sleeper and me having no idea what I was doing. He was a very big contact napper or motion napper and would wake 3-4 times at night. He never really took a dummy (which I am thankful for now) and was a real colicky baby so it was really hard for meto soothe him unless he was on the boob. We moved him into his own room around 3.5months and he started to fall asleep much easier at night time and we only had around 2 (sometimes 3) wake ups. I also slept so much better because I wasn’t waking up when he would move or make noise in his sleep. Around 4.5months we got him used to a snuggly/comforter, which was the best thing ever. It did take us about 6ish months for him to nap in his cot though. Now we have a pretty good nap/bedtime routine and I would say he is a pretty decent sleeper. We still get up at least once (sometimes twice) at night but he does randomly sleep through for like a week (which is always nice and refreshing haha). We are pretty relaxed parents and have a pretty busy social life (especially in AFL season) so his bedtime is always changing and he’s always napping on the go but it works for us and he loves being around people so I don’t think he really cares. We also have a pretty loose nap schedule, we mainly follow his ‘im getting tired’ cues and if he wants to sleep in until 8/8:30am, I will not argue with that haha. 

The hardest bits…

Learning to love my new body. I found that it is not necessarily the way it looks but how it feels, especially when I am playing sport or exercising, and also how differently I fit in clothes. I have found it really challenging to find my new style. I still haven’t quite accepted that it will never be the same and still figuring out what compliments my body but each day is better. 

Being too hard on myself. In the beginning I felt like I wasn’t a good enough mum and really doubted myself. I felt like I needed to know everything and be good at everything from day one, but in reality that is not the case. I did sooooo much googling (especially late night and early morning..) which just ended up stressing me out. My sister in-law, who is a mum of 3 (12, 9 and 5), tells me to this day that she still sometimes has no idea what she is doing and she is learning with her children as they grow.  

The best bits…

Literally just becoming a mum. It is everything I hoped for and more. Even though I was unaware of how hard it would actually be, I would do it all again. Seeing the love of my life become a dad, seeing our little boy learn new skills every day, watching him grow (despite that also being sad because it goes by so quickly…) and his contagious smile, is truly special.

Also, having such amazing relationships with my other mum friends. It’s been such a lifesaver to know I can turn to them for advice and guidance and now that our babies are older, seeing them connect with each other and grow together has been so beautiful. I am forever grateful. 

How do you make time for yourself?

To be honest I was very bad at this and it is actually one of my 2023 goals. I was going to the gym at least once a week and they had a crèche or my mother-in-law would watch him for an hour but I got really slack after I had a bit of a setback in my recovery. Although, now that AFL has started back up, I do train twice a week (which Fletcher absolutely loves coming to and everyone is so helpful) and I have just recently booked into Pilates once a week. I would really like to start doing more things with my partner as I feel like we have neglected our relationship just a little. But one step at a time.

What’s next for you and your family?

Our main goal is to buy our own home. I do love living with my parents as it was extremely helpful in those early days (and still has been as my partner has been travelling a lot for work) but we are starting to outgrow the place. Ideally we would like to move into a home by the end of this year and start trying for baby #2 when Fletcher turns 2 (which will be April 2024) and then finally get married – although my partner has to propose first hahaha. 

If you could talk to your pre baby/kid self, what advice would you give? 

The timing of things doesn’t always have to be perfect. Live in the moment and don’t wish for time to hurry up, no matter how hard it may be because one day you will wish for it back. Speak up for yourself and ask for help when you need it, you don’t have to suffer in silence.