Tara Hoitink

Tell us a bit about yourself?

My Name is Tara, I am 28 years old, a mum to Logan (6 months), a partner to Reece, a dog mum to Penny and a proud public servant. I grew up in Canberra and whilst my family drive me insane most days, I am very family orientated and count my lucky stars for them all! Reece and I met at school and I am so proud to call him my best friend and partner(one day husband *hint hint Reece*) all in one.

What were you doing before babies/children?

I feel like I could answer this in so many ways, but all in all, I have been working full-time since I left school (year 12). I was never the person who wanted to go to uni, so getting a secure, full-time job where I could grow as a person was what I did, and I am thankful because it has made me who I am today.

How did you come to be a mum?

It doesn’t matter whether I am walking through the shops, or at work, if a baby walks past or comes in the room, I would and will always stare in awe. I have always known I have wanted to be a mum. One thing Reece and I wanted before kids, was to buy a house and ensure we had all our ducks in a row for not only our sake but our future children/s. Unfortunately, with the covid pandemic and souring house prices this set us back a little bit, but nonetheless, we sold our apartment and purchased our home in August of 2021, and we were lucky enough to fall pregnant by November that same year.  

What has your feeding journey been like?

Who ever said breastfeeding was comfortable? Because it was not fun for me initially. I had constant pain when Logan latched on my left, so we had several appointments to see what the problem may have been. Ruling out a tongue tie and getting confirmation that his latch was fine, although still niggling pain. In the end we saw an Osteopath and she noticed that Logan had a very tight neck when turning to one side which we believe was from him getting stuck during birth for a long period of time (which ended in an emergency C-Section). My pain was gone and I loved breastfeeding from then on. It is convenient, and so nice to have your baby connect with you in that way. Unfortunately, at 3ish months, my supply decreased due to stress, and I was diagnosed with post-natal depression. It was hard. My god it was hard. I persisted and tried every remedy under the sun to increase my supply and continue milking myself like a cow, but after seeing how happy and content Logan was on formula I made the decision to call it quits. Boy did this ruffle some feathers. But a fed baby is a happy baby (or is it the other way around haha?), and I stand by that through and through.

What has sleep been like in your house?

Logan is a home body. So long as he is in his own home and own bed, he is a good sleeper (with exceptions of course), if we are out and about – cat napping is life. From 3-5 months old, he slept through most nights. He is still pretty good however is a hungry, chunky little man who loves his tucker and will happily fall asleep with a bottle in hand.

The hardest bits…

Life with a baby is an adjustment. A massive adjustment for me personally and what I have found hard is feeling guilty saying no to friends and family or changing plans to ensure they suit me and my baby. Some people understand completely, and others don’t. Its not because I don’t want to hang out or go away, but logistically, it is not that easy anymore and I have more than just me to think about. Trying to confide in your friends and family and speak about your journey, your feelings and PND and then being made to feel judged and like an attention-seeker for talking about it is heartbreaking. Finding the right person to vent too was hard but being able to talk to someone without the judgement and who will have your back has made the world of difference. I am so grateful for the few people I can turn to. To the ones who have made me upset and question my instincts, I got through it and I got through it without you.

The best bits… 

Logan in general. He is the most loving, smiley and cheeky little boy who has absolutely stollen both myself and Reece’s hearts. We couldn’t imagine life without him and even through all the hard times, seeing his face makes it all so worth it. Also, seeing Reece become a dad has just proven how much I love him and how becoming/being a dad can make the one you love 50 times better looking.

How do you make time for yourself?

Honestly, I am yet to find something for myself that I don’t love doing with Logan by myside. However, I know that once he gets a little bit older, my time will be precious and ensuring I do things for myself will become more and more important. Until then, I am soaking up the smiles and cuddles with my boy.

What’s next for you and your family?

Next? Oh gosh, I am not too sure. Reece is currently undergoing his second trade in plumbing (also a qualified panel beater). Until then, we will take the year as it comes and spend as much time as a family of 3 before thinking about taking the leap and hopefully becoming a family of 4.

If you could talk to your pre baby/kid self, what advice would you give?

Be true to yourself. Follow your gut and don’t take anything personally. Everyone has opinions but that doesn’t mean you need to take them onboard, do what is best for you, your baby, and your family. It is your world, not there’s.