Bella GOre

Tell us a bit about yourself?

I’m Bella. I’m not really sure what to say except I’m a preschool teacher, I love travelling, food, friends, family and art.

What were you doing before babies/children?

I have been working in early childhood education and care for years so part of me felt prepared for this journey but so much has been a complete surprise. 

How did you come to be a mum?

In 2022 I had a gynaecological surgery to remove some endometriosis adhesions and ovarian cysts removed. After the surgery, my gynaecologist told me it was very unlikely I would be able to conceive children and my best options were to start at a young age and try IVF. My partner Zac and I had always planned on having children but not until we were around 30 and already married, but after hearing this upsetting news, we suddenly realised it’s now or never; so we naturally chose now. A few months later, I fell pregnant by complete but delightful surprise. 

What has your feeding journey been like?

Breastfeeding was complicated for me and I believe this topic is not spoken about enough. I was taken by surprise at how challenging it can be. Due to my PCOS and low milk supply, I was combining breastfeeding, pumping and topping up with formula to try and improve my supply and ensure Sophie was eating enough. I tried lots of things to improve my supply from breastfeeding cookies to power pumping. I would be feeding on one side whilst pumping on the other. Sophie also had an 85% tongue tie which made it very hard for her to latch. I received lactation help from Motherhub in Queanbeyan. I took domperidome to increase my supply and had her tongue tie released at 9 weeks. By this point however, my supply had dropped quite significantly and Sophie was very resistant to latch. It was a hard balance trying to work out when the right time to stop was as I really wanted to focus on it being a positive experience for us both. 

What has sleep been like in your house?

Sleep in my house has been a whirlwind, with definite ups and downs. I used to think sleep regressions went for a few days but they seem to be permanent changes in sleep patterns they can’t be predicted. In November, we actually went to Tresillian sleep school to get some support. It didn’t actually help with her sleep but overall it was good to just get a break from life at home and hear from professionals that we were doing a good job cause doubting myself was playing a huge part in how the sleep deprivation was affecting me. 

The hardest bits…

The hardest bits came right from the start actually. When Sophie was born, she had trouble breathing due to fluid in her lungs. She had to go straight to the NICU and I couldn’t be with her right after birth. A few hours later I was wheeled to the NICU to see her only for the nurses to tell me it was too full in there and wheel me straight past the window. Not being able to be with my baby was very hard. I can’t really describe the feeling except that it felt unnatural. Once I could walk again and was in there it was better but it was still just a really sad place. There were worried mothers sitting around sort of exchanging empathetic looks. I guess the other hard bits have been the adjustments of becoming a mother and the isolation that comes with that. I definitely felt a drop off after the newborn phase when people are around and offering support but once that novelty wears off, it just seems like you get forgotten about. 

The best bits…

The best bits have definitely been the overwhelming feelings of love and joy that it brings. Seeing the beauty and excitement in life again is such an amazing thing. Through my daughters eyes, it’s like Christmas is magical again, playing in the leaves is wonderful and the simple things seems to have more meaning. Seeing Zac become a father has also been seriously amazing. While becoming parents is an adjustment for any relationship, it’s also been incredible to become a real family. My friend Chelsea has a baby girl only 4 weeks younger than Sophie and I have found that having a ‘mum friend’ who truly understands what it’s like has been really special for me as well. 

How do you make time for yourself?

Making time for myself is definitely the hardest thing for me about being a mum. 

What’s next for you and your family?

I returned to work at only 4 months postpartum thinking I could do it all and trying to prove myself to the world. I was directing a large childcare centre of 130 children and 55 staff which is an incredibly demanding job. I found it draining me more and more but didn’t really acknowledge it. When Sophie turned one I suddenly realised how quickly it has gone and will continue to go and had a huge change of heart about what I wanted for myself and my family. I took a job at a local preschool near home working part time so I could spend more meaningful time as a mum, a role I’ve waited for so long to do. Next for our family is to really enjoy and live in this stage of my life. I am loving being there for swimming lessons, kinderGym, play dates, park trips and more.

If you could talk to your pre baby/kid self, what advice would you give?

I would probably tell myself to slow down and enjoy life more. It isn’t a race and you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. I would tell myself that parenthood is about creating a loving family and doing that means trusting your instincts. I would also tell myself to embrace the stages of life you are in and not just let them pass.