Jayde Parker
Tell us a bit about yourself?
I am 24 years old and a single mum to a 3 year old boy named William. I work full time as a service manager for a disability organisation.
What were you doing before babies/children?
I was studying enrolled nursing at CIT. I was in my last year when I fell pregnant. Somehow I managed to graduate nursing (at 23 weeks pregnant, start nursing in the hospital on shift work and give birth within the same 3 months!!
How did you come to be a mum?
When I was 15 I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Endometriosis and through treatment for these I discovered I had a bicornuate uterus and duplex kidneys. Throughout my teens I had countless surgeries for these conditions and was told I would never have children without IVF intervention. In 2018 I was on dialysis and had life saving surgery on my kidneys which meant I no longer required dialysis. Somehow during one of these surgeries my body decided to start ovulating (something I had never done before) and my miracle baby was conceived when I was 20 years old. It was a welcomed surprise for me however tested the relationship I was in as it was fairly new and even though we tried to make it work the relationship was toxic and did not survive past William’s first year.
What has your feeding journey been like?
Due to my kidney issues I needed to deliver William via a caesarean section 10 days early as my kidneys were not functioning very well. This meant that my milk took longer to come in. Feeding was hard, and I persevered only to find that William had a tongue and lip tie so feeding was even harder. He had these cut at 11 weeks old and feeding became easier for me although I needed to return to work soon after so we got him into the daycare at the hospital so I could pump and go down and feed him on my breaks. At 7 months I started to mix feed him and that is when he developed a dairy allergy and went onto Soy formula. He stayed on soy milk until recently when he has transitioned to full cream milk.
What has sleep been like in your house?
William was a very good sleeper until his father and I separated. He was always in his own room then but for a little while after we were staying at friends and he needed to sleep with me. He became very attached to me due to the instability of our living arrangements and never transitioned back to his own room. We were given the opportunity through the Domestic Violence Crisis Centre to have our own house but he still sleeps with me as his first choice. In regards to the amount of time that William sleeps it can vary however I have not had a full night sleep since 2018……
The hardest bits…
The relationship I had with William’s father was tumultuous. The police were called a number of times, there was violence and we were not good for each other. However I loved him and thought that by staying in the relationship it would be the best chance for William to have a family. I was too scared to leave however when William was 8 months old I found evidence that showed his dad was cheating on me with a woman he worked with. Even worse I saw photos on social media of her in my home (in my bathroom, clearly showing my toothbrush) and she was playing happy families whilst I was working to support my family. To say I was devastated was an understatement however I could not be certain that anything bad was actually happening and tried to tell myself I was overreacting. For the new few months there were little things that would happen until it all came to a head a week before William’s birthday. This was just after Covid hit Australia so everything was in turmoil, especially given I was working in healthcare and was so scared of bringing Covid home to my family. Even though this was happening I still invited them both to come and see William for his birthday. My devastation was compounded by the fact that I had been betrayed not just by my partner but someone I knew, trusted and had opened my home to. When they broke up only a month or so later she reached out to me regarding her own AVO and I refused to be a part of it.
Throughout the last 2 years there have been times when I have struggled, I was left with a lot of debt from the relationship, I have trust issues with people and I have needed to work hard to build a life for William and I, which I have done, and I am so proud of how far I have come.
My health has continued to be a concern and having parents that live so far away has been challenging and in 2021 when I had kidney surgery my mum came and stayed with me. During my hospital stay I suffered a respiratory arrest and mum found me lifeless in the hospital bed. From this moment I realised that I need to live every day to it’s fullest. Some days are better than others and I have a long way to go but I have a different outlook on life. I have found my self worth, started setting boundaries and believing in myself more.
The best bits…
It is all the little things, the “I love you Mummy” or the “You are my best friend” that William tells me every day. It is the joy shown in William’s face when I collect him from daycare. The animation when he tells me stories about his friends and what they did that day.
Watching him learn, teaching him new songs and getting to see the world through William’s eyes. How a strawberry donut and a milkshake are the best things in the world!
How do you make time for yourself?
When William was younger it was hard as I had him the majority of the time however now that the relationship with his dad is getting better he sees him more regularly and this gives me time to catch up on the things I want or need to do for myself. I am a sucker for treating myself and regularly say “I have a champagne lifestyle on a beer budget”. Actually make that a water budget!!! However I find getting my lashes, nails and hair done frequently makes me always feel like the best version of myself.
What’s next for you and your family?
My mum lives in Qld and I try and have a family holiday with William to see her once a year. We love Australia Zoo, the beach and Sea World so I would love to save up to take another holiday up there. However my long term goal is to get out of debt, save and buy a house and hopefully meet a Knight in Shining Armour along the way
If you could talk to your pre baby/kid self, what advice would you give?
Listen to your gut feeling.
Be kind to yourself, you are doing the best you can
You are not a bull – don’t always go for the red flags
If you or somebody you know is experiencing domestic violence, please speak to someone today
1800 737 732
Available 24 Hours
https://www.mysticmag.com/psychic-reading/domestic-violence-resource-guide/