Courtney holland

Tell us a bit about yourself?

Heya am Courtney, 31, born and bred Canberra, living in Googong NSW. Eldest of 2 - younger brother that most people don’t know we are siblings!

Trent- My husband and I have been together 11 years and married for nearly 7 years!

We have 2 children Zara who is 5 and Ted who is 2.5. I love organising parties for my kids and love events, am a very social person and love a chat! I have recently been diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis!

What were you doing before babies?

Working full time in the public service, always busy with a new hobby and watching Trent play footy on the weekends. I loved breakfasts and going out with friends. Very social!!

How did you come to be a mum?

We knew we always wanted children but always wanted to wait for us to have our own home, we got married late 2014 and went on our honeymoon in 2015 due to some circumstances. After we got back we decided to try our luck, it took 3 months which was something we didn’t really think that would. I guess I always say they never in school teach you how hard or the time it takes to fall pregnant sometimes so I guess we just were taken back it took 3 months which in the scheme of things is nothing! We found out we were expecting our 1st bub the week of Trents dads 1st anniversary of his passing. It was bittersweet but we were super excited. The 1st few weeks were tough we didn’t tell anyone not even my parents, i was too scared something would happen. At 9 weeks I had a scare of a bleed I remember being so so worried but all was ok. We told my parents on my mums 50th birthday as that’s all she wanted to be at 50 a grandma! Zaras pregnancy was so smooth, we found out she was a girl at 20 weeks and announced to the world! Towards the end things went a bit crazy but I was given a stretch and sweep on Monday 18th April and after a long labor, 2 epidurals after a failed one, one episiotomy Zara was born! I still remember holding her being like wow we made her!!

Then there was Ted.. well he has been hard since the day we found out about him. His pregnancy was tough especially with a 2 year old, I bled at 9 weeks again and this was more concerning. I also had a bilobed placenta with the cord out the middle! I had bad migraines in this pregnancy and spent a lot of time being checked for decreased movement! Towards the end I was diagnosed with Polyhydramnios. Due to this I was induced with Ted. We started with the ballon but it did not progress. My waters were then broken and it was on. It all went rather fast. However due to Ted getting stressed and not able to come down enough or bloody fit I was rushed down to theatre. Right up until we got there I had no idea if it was going to be a forecep birth or c section. I just remember people rushing and getting there so fast! He was born via forceps and Trent witnessed the dr brought in place his foot up and pull him something he won’t forget and is actually rather traumatised by it still to this day! Ted arrived safe and sound a nice chubby healthy little boy!

What has your feeding journey been like?

I’d be lying to say it wasn’t one of the most traumatic part of having babies for me. With Zara we did breastfeeding classes and I remember being like oh yeh this looks easy enough and think something as natural as breastfeeding should be easy. Like it’s a natural thing it should be piece of cake! Well wasn’t I wrong! At 1st she latched and was alright, at a few hours old I noticed her tongue tie and let the dr know he was good and cut it the morning after her birth! We kept going and I thought she was going great. Then we got home and milk came and I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I had people try and help, nipple guards etc and it just wasn’t working. I was also really uncomfortable feeding in public and would pump so she wouldn’t have to feed. So I would pump and she would take it in a bottle. We did this early so she wouldn’t depend on me needing to be there and so Trent or anyone could help. She would only feed off one side. She was then diagnosed as a reflux bub as she would spew like no tomorrow and cry oh the cry. I set small goals. 1st was a month, 2nd was 6 week injections, and 3rd was 12 weeks. We got to the 12 week mark and I transitioned her to formula. She thrived and became so much better! Ted, well Ted I was adamant I wouldn’t feed. I told all the midwifes no at all appointments. Then he was born and they threw him on me and he fed like a champ. I was like ok I’ll give it a go. So we did and then day 2 noticed he too had a tongue tie and it was snipped while we were in hospital! Then Ted’s issues started, the reflux was insane, he didn’t tolerate me feeding, and then started having issues with formula. We went through so many different ones and in the end he was diagnosed with a CMPI (Cows Milk Protein Intolerance) so we had to have special formula ordered into the chemist via script! Finally at around 12 months he was able to come off it and transitioned to normal formula! He went onto the Aldi one and did great! Then at about 18 months we were able to transition him to cows milk which his now fine with!

What has sleep been like in your house?

We have had the worst luck! 2/2 terrible sleepers as bubs!

Zara had to be held to sleep sitting up on the lounge for the 1st 9 months due to the reflux! Then we tried to get her in a sleep routine and she just wouldn’t! In the whole time she was ever in a pram she slept in there 3 times! We ended up at QE2 for her sleeping after it got to a point we just couldn’t function and I was due back to work. She couldn’t self settle. She didn’t sleep properly until she had her tonsils and adenoids removed at 23 months. It was the game changer and the best thing we ever did for her. She finally started sleeping threw the night and then I fell pregnant with ted - haha! We moved her to her bed and she’s been perfect ever since! Ted well again worse - naturally don’t know if you see a pattern here! Ted never slept for more then 30 minutes for the 1st year of his life. It’s actually hard to recall as it’s such a blur. He would fall asleep and then startle himself. After finally getting into a Paed they did a sleep test on him. What we thought was the answer. Ted had sleep apnea. It all made sense. So we fought tooth and nail to get his tonsils and adenoids out after know how it changed Zara. So at 14 months ted had a partial tonsillectomy. This helped be finally slept and finally at 15 months old slept threw the night for the 1st time! However he did have to have a full tonsillectomy early this year due to adenoids growing back and so many cases of tonsillitis! His just the past few weeks moved into his “big boy bed”

The hardest bits…

The learning that comes as there is no book! When they are sick and hurt and you can’t do anything to help them. Being there when things happen and explaining all the hard questions of life to them!

The best bits…

Watching their little personalities shine and what excites them. I don’t want to forget any of it. Their voices, the funny things they say and how much they love you and the people close to them! I am the emotional mum so when I see Zara on stage at her dance concerts of course I cry! The photos from daycare/ preschool where they are being them having the time of their lives! Milestones are my fav birthdays things like that. The good times totally outweigh the bad!

How do you make time for you?

After my rough time with Ted I was diagnosed with pretty bad anxiety. So really had to make time for me. I am a very creative person so I put time into that. It’s also the reason why I joined Rodan and Fields. In lockdown last year we had just moved into a new house and felt pretty isolated from a lot of people so jumped into that community! I actually just like being alone to relax throw on a face mask and just enjoy some quiet time! Recently, I have just been diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis so now more than ever am learning to make time for me to rest and look after myself! It’s been a lot to take in but finally all the pieces are coming together!

What’s next for you and your family?

Our little family is complete, so for us it’s the next stage!! Zara going to kindy next year and Ted being so close to being off to preschool! Our weekends of sport have already started and we can’t wait for plenty more! We built our latest home last year so we have some huge plans for this watch this space!

Advice for other mums?

Trust your gut!! Push for what you want! You’re the best advocate for your own children and they will be forever grateful.