Emma White

Tell us a bit about yourself?

Hi, I’m Emma! I am a Canberra girl born and bred. I’m the eldest of three girls and grew up on the Northside of Canberra.

My husband, Jeb - a country boy from Cootamundra, and I, have been together for 12 years and married now for almost 8 years.

We have one angel baby, Charlotte, who was born in October 2018 and an almost eleven month old, Lyla, who was born in July 2020.

What were you doing before babies?

Before babies I was working full time as a Sales Rep in the Construction Industry.

In my spare time I was quite active and nearly every weekend and most week days were filled with sport or training.

I also loved to go out for dinners and drinks and was always travelling - local or overseas!

How did you come to be a mum?

My journey to motherhood has been a pretty big rollercoaster with some amazing times and some extremely tough times.

I am mum to our angel baby, Charlotte, born in 2018 and our 11 month old, Lyla, born in 2020.

I found out I was pregnant in 2018 after only a couple months of trying. Everything was going really well throughout the pregnancy. I felt really great - no morning sickness, was continuing sport and exercise and was super excited to meet our little bubba.

My husband and I went along for our 20 week scan at Calvary and I remember only being concerned about keeping the gender a surprise. It’s crazy to think how quickly everything changed from that point on.

As I was lying on the bed I remember the sonographer's face dropping and her stopping the scan immediately. She said to my husband and I there was a couple of issues and that she would have the OB on call come and see us. We sat in that tiny room for hours waiting for the doctor. We were so confused and unsure of what was about to happen.

Once the doctor came and saw us he explained that in the scan they noticed issues with our babies spine development and brain and that we would be referred to FMU (Fetal Medical Unit) at The Canberra Hospital. The next day we were seen by the team at FMU and were told that our baby had a Neural Tube Defect, specifically Spina Bifida. It was a severe case and the term ‘not compatible with life’ was raised. Having this defect meant that our baby would have loss of sensation from the waist down, a life time of bowel and bladder problems, seizures, and orthopedic conditions. There was also a significant amount of fluid on her brain which meant she would have severe developmental and intellectual impairments.

My husband and I made the hardest decision we have ever had to make and decided to end the pregnancy and I gave birth to our beautiful little Charlotte at 21 weeks.

It was easily the most devastating time of our lives having to go through the birth, funeral, paperwork and face the fact that we would never get to see our bubba grow up. The months after were such a blur. I was lucky to have some amazing family and friends who helped my husband and I get through this time. We also went for counselling which has helped through some hard times.

I’m a strong believer that things happen for a reason and a year later almost to the day of Charlottes first birthday I fell pregnant again.

My entire pregnancy was monitored closely by the FMU team which meant we got to go for a lot of extra scans. I was on the Catch program at TCH and had an amazing midwife the entire way through. Similar to my first pregnancy I was really lucky to have no morning sickness and continue to exercise throughout the pregnancy.

At 34 weeks pregnant I was so unbelievably itchy and let my midwife know. I went to the hospital for some tests and was diagnosed with Cholestasis of pregnancy. Pretty much it’s where your liver isn’t processing bile acids and in short can cause distress to baby, preterm birth or stillbirth. I was carefully monitored up at the hospital a couple times each week and placed on medication until I was induced at 37 weeks.

After a super intense yet successful and relatively short induction (with only 4 minutes of pushing!) we finally we had our little Lyla here!

We have definitely had a few bumps along the way. Lyla is currently being braced at night for mild hip dysplasia but after meeting with our specialist last month we have had great improvement and hoping to have the brace off by the time she is one - Fingers crossed!

I’ve absolutely loved being her mum and I’m so lucky she chose us. Lyla has made the hard times worth it.

What has your feeding journey been like?

We are currently going on eleven months of exclusive breast feeding but our feeding journey wasn’t always easy. To be completely honest it was really hard at the start! When Lyla was born she really wasn’t ready to come and had a few premature baby traits. She had trouble latching and I knew something wasn’t right. She was gaining weight but not as quickly as she should have been and I had bad damage to my nipples. I got in touch with a lactation consultant who came and assessed Lyla and she was sent in the following week to get lip and tongue ties snipped. I was also put on domperidone to boost my supply and stayed on that medication for a few weeks until I gradually weaned off it.

One day everything just clicked - Lyla’s weight gain increased dramatically every check in, her latch was good and my supply was also well established. She became such a chubby bubba and is definitely still loving the boob!

We are now going on eleven months of exclusive breastfeeding and although it was tough it’s something I’m super proud of myself for seeing through. I head back to work when Lyla is twelve months so will look at gradually weaning then but for now I’m enjoying to extra snuggles I get when feeding.

What has sleep been like in your house?

In terms of baby sleep I think we have been relatively lucky.

Sleep for us is constantly changing with her growth and leaps but she naps well during the day and generally is down for bed around 7pm and up between 7-8am with a max of two wakes overnight.

I always said I would never co sleep but Lyla comes into bed with me after her first wake during the night. It’s actually super nice having her next to me and I love the snuggles. I think I will be sad when she eventually sleeps through in her own cot.

The hardest bits…

The loss of Charlotte is the hardest part of my journey into motherhood. We make and important effort to celebrate her life by talking about her often and celebrating things like her birthday each year. It’s important to me that Lyla will grow up knowing she has a big sister looking down on her everyday.

The best bits…

One thing I have loved about becoming a mum is being able to share this with my sisters and a couple of my close friends who have all had babies in the last 12 months.

I love watching Lyla grow and change every day and am so excited for the little person she is growing in to!

How do you make time for you?

I’m back playing sport of a weekend and going to the gym a couple times a week.

Coffee and breakfast dates with other mumma friends also on maternity leave is also a weekly occurrence while our babies play together.

What’s next for you and your family?

We would love to have another bubba soon and give Lyla a little friend!

We are also currently in the process of building our forever home on a few acres out in Murrumbateman so that’s taking up a lot of our spare time at the moment. We are super excited for the build and can’t wait to get out there!