Amy Kowalczuk

Tell us a bit about yourself?

It's been an enormous few years and having our daughter Isla Mae in Feb of 2019 was a huge part (but not the sole cause) of that.

I'm a secondary performing arts teacher, teaching years 7 to twelve. I am an actress and a theatre maker, currently studying a Master's of Theatre and Performance, full time, through the University of New England

My dissertation for my masters will focus on gendered narratives and gendered violence and my major project will be the direction of a play. It's a pretty massive year! I'm also a 200 hr trained yoga teacher and the FurMum of a Whippet (Olive) and a Cav (Maple).

What were you doing before babies?

I worked as a Captain Starlight in Paediatrics with the Starlight Children's Foundation for almost four years and prior to that as an actress at Questacon for seven years. I was also doing a lot of work as a performer in musicals and plays. The year before I found out I was pregnant, I had performed at an international theatre festival in Monaco, representing Australia, playing Nell Gwynn in Playhouse Creatures for Pigeonhole Theatre. I was on my final placement when I found out I was pregnant - I completed my Arts and Education degrees in 2018 whilst in my last trimester.

How did you come to be a mum?

Quite accidentally. It was absolutely not part of the plan. I fell pregnant to my fiancee whilst I was studying but I was prepping for another surgery as I have endometriosis. So it was very unexpected. She was born in Feb. In March I had my second endo surgery when she was seven weeks old. We then had our hens and bucks and we married by June with our tiny girl beside us. Then, I started my first fill time teaching gig late July. Obviously we can't imagine our lives without her but it's been a HUGE few years.

What has your feeding journey been like?

To be honest...all of this stuff was hard AND it was easy. Like everyone, we got there in the end...I'll never forget a midwife telling me before my milk had come in that Isla was underweight and that we needed breast milk at the house in a few hours. A beautiful girlfriend came with bags from her freezer and fresh expressed milk...which brought us a lot closer together. It's now, reflectively, that I see how strange it was for her to insist that it was breast milk instead of formula. We mix fed Isla after 5 months as I needed to go back to work and I never had always planned to mix feed. The work was supposed to be part time but ended up as full time a week after a started...so I expressed as long as I could.

What has sleep been like in your house?

Isla has always been an amazing sleeper. We've never co slept and she was in her own room from three months. It's been good for us...can't imagine being able to do all the things on so little sleep...so other Mamas...I see you!

The hardest bits…

Being a working mother and always feeling split. I adore my students and always strive to give them my best and I am still working as a performer and of course doing my masters. So I often have a lot to juggle. But I have an extremely hands on husband who loves being a father. He and I are a good team and make sure that we carve out space for solo time. Where we let down is our 'us' time and I really miss that.

The best bits…

Her. She is hilarious. Kind. Warm. Weird. Intuitive. Curious. Gentle. Wild. Clever. I am really trying to be as present with her as possible...because it's all going so fast. My time with her is so precious to me and at 2 and half I'm so proud of her and everything she can do. I love going to the beach with her. Doing yoga with her. Laughing with her. Having breakfast with her at Teddy Pickers! I just love being with her. Even when it's hard and her energy is so big. Sometimes I just need to take a deep breath and remember that.

How do you make time for you?

It's not negotiable. My mental health us extremely important to me after many years of deep reflection, therapy and at points, medication. I'm in a wonderful zone these days so I make sure I remember the tricks of the past...which is why it's a non negotiable. My husband and I are really open about what we need. Luckily for us, he is a real home body and gets his nourishment from that. I need a bit more stimulation and make sure that I have some of that in my week. It might be a bath, or a hike. A yoga class or attending a show or a gig. Dinner with a friend. Because all of that stuff makes me a funner, less stressed, more present mother. My masters and study is important to me and benefits us all in the long run.

What’s next for you and your family?

Getting through this masters. Stating connected to one another and waiting for the next adventure to roll on up. We aren't looking too far ahead.