Taylah Loughhead
Tell us a bit about yourself?
My name is Taylah, I am 25 years old and a mum to 3 beautiful children, Iylah 5, Kingston 16 months and Knox 11 weeks. I am currently in the Canberra Hospital with Knox as he was recently diagnosed with bacterial meningitis. He will be admitted for 21 days to receive a long course of antibiotics through an IV drip. Trying to adapt to being away from the other two children and care for Knox in the hospital has been a challenge, but it’s made me realise how precious good health is.
What were you doing before babies?
Before I had babies I was a young irresponsible party goer who had no responsibilities or cares in the world. I lived for myself and always followed the party crowd.
Now looking back on those days I truly believe that I was so lost and had no idea of the person I wanted to be or was yet to become. Being a mother was my purpose, it saved me and I have never felt more content or complete.
How did you come to be a mum?
I was super young only being 19 and falling pregnant with Iylah was a huge surprise. I was in a fresh relationship with her father and we were living in a wild group house. We had to quickly pull ourselves into line and start making plans for the future, to be able to give Iylah a much better living situation than the one we were in at the time. The relationship with Iylah’s dad didn’t last very long past her 1st birthday but, I am so proud of how far we have come and I think we smash it at co-parenting her. We are able to put Iylah first and always have her best interest at heart when it comes to parenting her together.
When Travis and I decided to expand our family together it didn’t come easily. We experienced two miscarriages very close together and were trying for over a year to get Kingston. I actually used to get terrible wisdom teeth infections quite regularly and when I saw an obstetrician during the second miscarriage he was certain that the infections were what was causing my miscarriages. Oral hygiene is vital for overall health I quickly learnt. After getting all 4 teeth removed I fell shortly after and had Kingston.
I see a lot of women who are trying to conceive who have only ever seen or heard about all of the positives that came with having babies and very little people speak about their struggles. I try to keep it open about my two miscarriages to hopefully give hope to other people who are trying and it hasn’t come easily.
What has your feeding journey been like?
I struggled to feed all three of my babies. Iylah was a teeny tiny thing being born at 36 weeks due to pre eclampsia and only weighing 2.3 kilos (5 pound 2 ounces) so due to her size, poor latch, jaundice levels and her inability to gain weight quickly, it made our breastfeeding journey quite difficult. I pumped and would feed her expressed breast milk from a bottle and then top her up with formula for about 6 weeks before I fully put her on formula.
As for the boys, it was much the same although I had a dodgy breast reduction done between Iylah and Kingston which affected my milk supply from reaching its full potential. They both were jaundice and lost more than 10% of their birth weight. I fed them along with formula for around 8 weeks and then they both went onto be solely formula fed.
I let the boys lead the decision of stopping feeding them as they both eventually became super frustrated on the boob, as they were obviously wanting more to come out which I was unable to produce. This made it easier for me to decide to stop as I felt as though there was no point making feeding time a frustrating time for them.
What has sleep been like in your house?
Ahh sleep, sorry what is that? My partner owns and runs a farming business 4 and a half hours away from Canberra, which leaves me at home with the kids majority of the time.
Iylah is a great sleeper and if anything can be a bit challenging to get down. I have been playing her kids meditation that she listens to go to sleep and that has been helping massively. Kingston has always been my problem sleeper and I have just learnt to not go in with any expectations as every night is different. He may sleep through for 12 hours straight or we could be up every hour screaming or we could have everything in between.
Knox has been a pretty great sleeper since day one only really waking once or twice. I have only had a small handful of unsettled nights with him. I do co-sleep with him a lot of the time but before we ended up in the hospital I had just started to get him used to his bassinet.
But I must say there has been times where all 3 are up at the same time and where all 3 wake up at different times.
The hardest bits…
The hardest part of my motherhood journey by far is what I am currently experiencing. As mentioned earlier on Knox has meningitis and we have currently been in the hospital for 6 days now. We were absolutely shocked that his results came back positive. He has had little to no symptoms. I checked his temp at home as he felt a bit warm and got a reading of 38.7, I had a phone call with my GP who told me given his history to take him straight to the hospital. Surprisingly, though since arriving to hospital he has not had one temp. The doctors are still in shock that he has meningitis when he is still so active, happy and non symptomatic. There truly is nothing stronger than a mother’s instinct and no mum should ever doubt them!
Knox has a medical condition called Hydronephrosis which is where the tubing that comes out of the kidney into the bladder is dilated, preventing the fluid entering the bladder from flushing with force. This impacts the filtering function of getting rid of all the bad bacteria, leaving him highly susceptible to Urinary Tract Infections.
Knox was admitted when he was 3 weeks old with a Urinary Tract Infection but was negative to meningitis after 3 lumbar puncture attempts. Leaving him with 4 lumbar punctures in total at the young age of 11 weeks! A lumbar puncture is where they insert a needle in the small pockets between the gaps in the spine to withdraw spinal fluid. The testing of this fluid is the only way to test for meningitis. In newborn babies the barrier between their brain and the rest of their bodies hasn’t been formed yet, which means that if an infection is present in the body there is a good chance that it has gone into the brain as the infection has direct access to spread there.
Seeing my newborn baby constantly being made upset but being poked with needles, checked over by doctors, having testing done, along with being woken up just about every time he goes to have a sleep is absolutely heart breaking.
On top of everything that comes with the hospital stay, I am away from my other two children which is extremely difficult. I have applied for exemptions so that they can hopefully come and visit, because the current Covid restrictions at the hospital only allow Knox to have 2 visitors per day and that can only be the same two people visiting for that day, and I count as 1 of those visitors. I am trying to navigate care arrangements for them from the hospital, hoping to not disrupt their routines too much.
The best bits…
Wow, where do I start! An absolute highlight would be each time one of the children were born and seeing them transition into the family. Especially seeing Iylah and Kingston bee one siblings and watching how they all interact with one another.
But on a day to day basis, they all have such big personalities and no matter how hard some days may be they never fail to bring a smile to my face and make me laugh. I love the cuddles, the kisses and watching them learn new things and explore life. Iylah has always been this hilarious child that has such a massive personality, Kingston’s personality has just started to really shine through and he is such a gentle soul. Little Knoxy has definitely shown me that no matter how hard life gets there’s always something to be happy about. He is always smiling and trying to interact. Although the nurses and doctors upset him, he still gives them the biggest smiles. They are my best friends and the best company.
How do you make time for you?
I am still yet to do a bit more of this. Since Knox was born and having the kids by myself most of the time, I don’t get much time to myself, I am lucky to get a shower in most days! But we are all still adjusting into the new routine with newest member.
What’s next for you and your family?
At the moment our focus is getting Knox well enough to be discharged home.
Once home though I want to really focus on Iylah and her schooling, she has had a very disrupted start to kindergarten. Knox was born shortly after starting and with the 2 extra hospital stays her routine is always getting disrupted. She loves school and is very keen to learn so I am hoping to really put that time in to helping her flourish.